For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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