exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
