I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
