Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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