She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
