She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
