Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
