I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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