Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
