just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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