i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I will be naked everywhere
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
