I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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