I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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