that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
