i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
