So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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