You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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