Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
