Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
