she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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