I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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