whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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