do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
