i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No subtext here. People are naked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
