who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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