btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
