Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
