dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
