He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
