no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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