I hate all girls vehemently.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dick very happy bro
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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