Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
