Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize