You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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