Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
