i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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