Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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