Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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