definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize