if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
