the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
