I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
