I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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