you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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