Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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