If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
