he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
