you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
