i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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