Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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