Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My ass is underappreciated
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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