I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
