I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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