i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
