No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
