Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
