alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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