look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
