Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize