my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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