You really coming over, don't trick.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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