im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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