what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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