Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
