For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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